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Perplexed soul

“All of the true things I'm about to tell you are shameless lies.”
-Kurt Vonnegut

unofficialzackmerrick:

Okay but look at the flower I saw on the trail today.

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

I PUT THE HOUSECAT OUTSIDE FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES AS A JOKE AND HE COMES RUNNING IN WITH A SNAKE IN HIS MOUTH

OH SHIT THE SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE

THE SNAKE HAS GONE INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

SNAKE HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD IN A PANICKED, THROWING MOTION

"Fucking put me outside again, bitch. See what happens." -My Asshole Cat

(via snazziest)